May 16, 2011

Bob Wickman’s Chocolate Cheesecake

Delayed Gratification.  It’s soooo underrated.   We live in a society where it’s now or never.  Twitter, Facebook, Texting, etc.  It’s a trip.  About 10 years ago, I wanted this really expensive watch.  It was a treat for me.  I earned it; I should have it if I want.  But I didn’t pull the trigger.  5 years later, I did.  And WOW…it was so sweet.   The fact that I waited made it so much more than I expected.  And I grinned when I was by myself and thought “Man, this was worth the wait”.  We all know that’s true.  The girl/guy you like, the car you covet, the fancy neighborhood, the vacation you’ve always dreamed of.  The waiting is a KILLER, but when it does happen…look out.
 
As Atlanta Braves fans in 2010, I hope we all learned that lesson.  That delayed gratification is a great thing.  No playoffs for 5 years then “Surprise”!!!  Last May was stellar and next thing you know it’s October we’re 3 errors away from an NLCS (sorry, Brooks).  So let’s keep our emotions is check for a bit here in 2011 (I’m the worst at this).  It’s a long season and currently the Bravos are around 3 games back of Dumpadelphia and they’re in a dead heat for the Wild Card.  Uggla’s track record shows he’ll come around (although the nickname Dan Struggla is kinda clever if I do say so myself) and the Braves need to come up with a “Plan B” for Chipper’s additional injuries that are sure to come.  The bullpen needs to settle down and Jay-Hey has to be 100% to be valuable.  So while I’m sure there’s some trepidation from all of Braves Country, I think this team is going to be just fine.  With all the warts and all the miscues so far, they’re right there in the thick of it.
 
No real segue” thoughts I had recently:
 
Chipper’s hurt so often his secondary nickname needs to be “The Tear”, “The Strain” or “The Oblique”.  He hurts parts of his body that I’m not sure humans actually have.  Did you hear that Chipper’s got a secondary tear of his interior lateral by-triceps calf rotation joint ligament?  Huh?
 
Doesn’t George Sherill looks like somebody with the nickname “Rascal”?  His uniform is all big and askew and he wears his hat looks like someone who has no idea how to shape/wear a ball cap.
Braves’ version of “The Hangover” starring Peter Moylan, David Ross and Eric Hinske.  I’d see that over ANY Will Ferrell movie (actually, I’d watch your wedding video over a Will Ferrell movie).
 
Who knew that Kris Medlin was all tatt’ed up?  Did anyone else see all that ink on his one arm?
 
Uggla’s uniform is so tight, I think it’s made by Baby Gap…not Majestic.
 
The Braves 1974 uniforms on Sunday may be the greatest looking uniform the club has to offer.  Make those the Sunday uniforms and get rid of those awful red ones.  They look like some avant-garde “over 40” men’s softball team uniforms.
 
Carlos Santana gets SUPER grumpy when he forgets his weed.
 
On that note, when I think of Civil Rights…I totally think of Al Roker.
 
If Yadier Molina or Buster Posey start in the All-star game over Brain McCann, they need to take away fan voting forever.
 
If you’re like me and wonder who’s the worst player on the Braves roster is, let me help you.  Joe Mather.
 
I will only buy “Dip ‘n Dots” at Turner Field once they realize that it’s the ice cream of the present…not the future.
 
Also, more funnel cakes concession stands, please!!!
 
Cristhian Martinez has been put in some really tough spots for the Braves this year and has done superb.  He’s this year’s Oscar Villarreal.
 
Even with Alex Gonzalez striking out a few times in key situations, I’d take him ANY day over Yunel Escobar (I still like my Yunel candy idea of the Esco-“Bar”.  There’s no chocolate, nugget or anything…it’s simply 100% nuts).  
 
Escobar might be one of my most despised Ex-Braves.  Along with:
 
Gary Sheffield (I dislike him and his stupid bat waggle so much, when I play my MLB game and he comes up…I throw at his head)
 
Mark Teixeira (nothing personal, he just stunk while he was here and we gave up a bunch for him)
 
Bob Wickman (does anyone else think that “gum” he chewed was actually little pieces of chocolate cheesecake?)
 
Manny Acosta (aren’t fast balls suppose to actually be fast, Manny?)
 
Blaine Boyer (I swear his problem is that huge necklace he wears, it’s got to be heavy)
 
Kyle Farnsworth (AKA, Farnsworth-less)
 
Kelly Johnson (catch the BALL Kelly…it’s not hard)
 
Mike Hampton (makes Chipper’s injuries looks normal)
 
Adam LaRoche (do us all a favor and go pout in your deer stand with a 8×10 glossy of Chipper and a glass of young Merlot)
 
And of course Greg “please wake me up, this guy can’t really be on the team” Norton.
 
If you want more of my shenanigans during the week, follow me on Twitter @yourdailyvinnie.  Thanks!

 

 

3 Responses to “Bob Wickman’s Chocolate Cheesecake”

  1. 1
    Pure Says:

    Last month Escobar hit a game-winning homer and after the game he said in an interview that he knew he’d be the hero and that he was telling everyone in the dugout that he’ll win it for the team. Sure he delivered, but can you imagine playing with a teammate like that? I’ll be tempted to grab a bat and stuff it down his throat.

  2. 2
    Vinnie Says:

    Yea, Pure. Yunel just seems to have a screw loose. I know the Braves are glad he’s gone. No one had anything good to say about him after the trade.

  3. 3
    BRAVEinNY (Matt) Says:

    Vinnie, nice piece.

    One thing I have to disagree with… yes we gave up a way too much for Mark Teixeira, but he absolutely did NOT stink. He played 157 games for the Braves (so a full season) he hit .295/.395/.548 37HR 134 RBI and played Gold Glove defense. I would LOVE to have that back.

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