May 03, 2011

Eric Hinske and My Kid’s Porsche

Anyone with a child that misbehaves has asked this question to themselves at some point.  “Well, what do I do now?” The feeling stinks.  Your kid cut in line, pushed another child on the playground, won’t share or is just acting like a jerk.  As a parent, it’s a duty that’s difficult.  You love your child, but they need to learn how to act.  How to operate in a civil society.  How to respect others.  So as I read the news about Roger McDowell and Derek Lowe, I thought to myself… “Well, what do I do now?”.  These two clowns aren’t my kids (I’m pretty sure my child hasn’t asked anyone if they’re a threesome and she doesn’t own a Porsche), but they’re a part of a team I root for.  THE team in my adopted hometown.  Baseball has become a decent slice of my life in recent years and now “Frick and Frack” over here are ruining my good time.  I know some people don’t care about what players do off the field, but I kinda do.  I grew up a Steelers fan, but I felt a bit dirty rooting for them in the Super Bowl with Big Ben behind center.  You want to like the guys on the team you root for.  I don’t draft players I don’t like onto my fantasy teams.  Kellen Winslow will NEVER be on my fantasy football team (Take that, Sergeant Winslow).  I’m sure he’s crushed.  You don’t want to suspend your better judgment just because you dropped $200 on a Bill Romanowski jersey.

Look, Drinking and driving is NOT good (actually, it’s REAL bad).  Drag racing down Peachtree is even WORSE.  At some age, immaturity becomes irresponsibility.  Lowe’s decision making was obviously flawed.  But I’m willing to give the guy a second chance.  God knows I’ve needed a second chance from time to time.  We all have.  But some fans likely won’t forgive Lowe and rightly so.  And I can only assume they’ll redo that commercial with Hudson and Lowe talking about their “specialty” pitches.  I think Lowe’s new pitch starts off at 100 MPH, then suddenly drops off the plate before it’s arrested and taken downtown.  With McDowell’s situation, it’s so surreal that it’s almost hard to believe it actually happened.  And it’s so much worse from a fan’s perspective.  Allegedly dressing some parent down in front of his kids and then telling him the ballpark is no place to bring them?  The only way that could have been worse is if he was choking the “Snuggle Fabric Softener” bear while yelling at the guy.  Coming soon to Tuner Field’s pavilion…Roger McDowell’s “Tooner Field Nightclub and Tapas Bistro”.  Should be a big hit.  So I’ll continue to root, root, root for the home team.  If they don’t change…it’s a shame. we can have some fun and talk about good stuff!

I have a NEW BPF.  That’s Best Paisano Forever (the Italian version of BFF).  I have a total “bro-mance” for Eric Hinske.  He’s the guy you want to be, total badass.  He’s the kid in your neighborhood the other boys want to hang around (when he’s not hiding from the father of some totally hot chick).  Let’s begin with his walk up music.  It’s more violent sounding than Roger McDowell at a pride parade.  I’m not sure who the band is, but I can only assume they’re a garage band…Charles Manson’s garage.  Then there are the tattoos.  This guy has so much ink on his body, it looks like a squid threw up on him.  I mean…what a total stud move.  You’re pretty much cementing a career path when you get full body tats.  No one is going to let you take their loan application if you have a “skeleton riding a bleeding neon aardvark” tattoo flowing down your arm.  And in his last 10 games, he’s batting .444 with 8 hits, 4 RBIs and a HR.  The HR he hit in the San Francisco playoff series was one of the coolest moments I’ve had at the park.  What’s most impressive is how he can turn it on when needed.  In the most crucial moments…this cat delivers.  I envision him eating ribs and sipping a Pabst Blue Ribbon in the dugout when Fredi tells him he needs a pinch hitter.  Hinske simply chugs his PBR, grabs a MLB approved wet nap, picks up one of those “hulk” green wiffle ball bats, steps to the plate and “Roy Hobbs” a pitch to the World of Coke.  And from all accounts, he’s a super teammate.  We WANT to root for good guys.  We all want to work with people that we like.  Eric Hinske seems to be that person that EVERYBODY likes.  And that’s no small accomplishment to achieve in just one year with an organization.  So remember, looks can be deceiving.  Hinske looks like a Hells Angel, but I bet he stays off Peachtree at 3am.  Hinske is now my favorite Braves player…with Brooks Conrad as honorable mention.

If you want more of my shenanigans during the week, follow me on Twitter @yourdailyvinnie.  Thanks!



2 Responses to “Eric Hinske and My Kid’s Porsche”

  1. 1
    Anne Says:

    Vinnie – you must have been the guy I saw at the rainout in a white t-shirt that he colored in as a Hinske Jersey. The front said, “Eric’s #1 Fan” and the back had HINSKE and 20 underneath. Really awful block lettering penmanship – make a new shirt. :-)

  2. 2
    Hollie Says:

    Very disappointed in the Braves last week. As a mother and a big Braves fan, I can’t wait to take my daughter to her first game. Thanks for calling out McDowell.

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