I have grown a hugely large lame mustache and I just can’t shave it. It’s SO awful. But I think I’m keeping it forever. I’m serious, it’s bigger than some people’s whole face. The Mario Brothers saw it and said “damn.”
Recreated conversation from work today:
Me: It’s my Friday!
Me: Yes, I’m flying to New York!
Co-Worker: Awesome. Are you going to catch some World Series?
Me: HELL no. I wouldn’t go to Yankee Stadium if Hal Steinbrenner took me to his Skybox, sat me on his lap and fed me hot dogs.
Co-Worker: Wait. What if you had a guarantee that the Yankees would lose?
Me: Well…I DO like hot dogs…