I’m typically not a movie person, maybe it’s the mild case of A.D.D., but I rarely look forward to a movie. The last time I went to the theatre was to see “The Hangover” and I came away thinking that too many previews can spoil a movie and that $9.75 for a ticket should include popcorn. Now that “The Hangover Part 2” is headed to an overpriced theatre near you, I’m preparing myself for the sequel. Here’s my game plan:
First, no trailers! Trying to avoid trailers is nearly impossible. I’ve already had a face tattoo, an adorable monkey, and a Bangkok backdrop as a spoiler. Not deal breakers, but still, I like to go in fresh. Second, I’m going to the matinee, this protects me against the flop. Film studios have shifted to an approach centered around quantity and not quality. I mean really, does “Thor” deserve his own movie? Or “The Green Hornet“? I really believe that we’re less than five years away from an “Archie and Jughead” movie. If the matinee price doesn’t protect me against the flop, step 3 ensures I get my money’s worth. Finally, I’m bringing my own snacks. That’s right, I’m dusting off the cargo pants and filling them up with Snowcaps! Call me cheap, I don’t care, but I always hedge my bets. On the heels of “Fast Five” and “Scream 4“, play it safe, bet against the sequel.
I’m starting to grow anxious with another sequel, Chipper Jones’ knee injury. The day the Braves lost Chipper for the season last year started a downward trend on offensive and defense. Sure we played our way into the playoffs but our lack of depth was exposed and I feel we could be headed down that same path now.
As someone who has had two knee surgeries, one after a small meniscus tear became a larger one, I have little faith in Chipper’s knee to stay intact for four or (hopefully)five months. Look at the numbers, something is wrong with Chipper. Throughout his career, Chipper has had an exceptional walk-to-strikeout ratio. April started off good, not striking out in any of the teams first 11 games, but May has been tough. 16 strikeouts to only 8 walks for May and 3 strikeouts in the series finale against Houston. The last time Chipper struck out 3 times in a game was August of ‘09.
Sure this is a small sample space and you have to be encouraged by Chipper’s return to the lineup, but what is our backup plan? Prado to third and Hinske/Mather in left? That’s not a lineup card I want to look at everyday. Not because we can’t win with that defensive alignment, but because we’re one slippery staircase or a crazy ex-girlfriend away from Brooks Conrad being an everyday guy.
A quarter of the way through the season and there are some red flags to this sequel. My suggestion is to get the knee scoped, cleaned out, whatever. Just get it done and put it behind us, otherwise I’m afraid I already know how this one ends.
1. Brian McCann’s Walk Off Heroics- 2 hours of frustrations were washed away thanks to Mac. Surely that punched a ticket to the Mid Summer Classic, right?
2. Christian Martinez- Standing on 2nd base after his RBI double must have been a pretty cool place to take in a spirited tomahawk chop.
3. Kimbrel & Venters- Kimbrel did blow a save against the Nats but for the last 7 days the two combined for 2 Wins and 3 Saves in 9.2 IP with 17 K , an ERA 1.95 and a WHIP 0.97. Vinnie, where are we at on nicknames for these two?
1. Brandon Beachy Injured- We can’t seem to stay healthy. This one bothers me most since Beachy had pitched his way on to my fantasy team. Back into the hopper he goes.
2. Those Pesky Nats- There has to be some psychological explanation on our trouble beating Washington. Our record against them is unbelievable.
3. Chip Carey- The next time I hear, “Swing and a Drive!” on a fly ball it better not die a step onto the warning track.